How do I pay securely on a dating site?

Good dating sites cost money. But you don't have to pay more than necessary. With our tips, you won't fall for the typical tricks and pitfalls!

If you want to be successful in online dating, you have to take out a paid membership in the long term. Because where you have to pay, there are singles who - just like you - are serious. Dating sites that charge a fee simply have a more sophisticated audience who want more than just to have fun...

But the good thing is that there is also a lot available for free on the paid dating sites:

What can you use EVERYWHERE free of charge?

  • You can register free of charge and use the internal member area.
  • Flirt sites allow you to search for other singles yourself.
  • On dating agencies, you take a personality test and receive free contact suggestions.
  • You can receive mails from other singles and read them to some extent.

What is SOMETIMES free of charge?

  • For women, all dating sites for intimate adventures are completely free of charge.
  • During promotions, you can use good dating sites free of charge for a certain period of time, e.g. 3 days.
  • On some dating sites, you can only write if you pay. But even if you don't pay, you can reply.
  • So-called "freemium" dating sites only charge for additional functions such as virtual gifts. But you will also meet a corresponding audience there...

Why can't quality be free of charge?

In order to run a 1a singles exchange, the companies usually need:

  • A good technical basis for managing members.
  • A team for fake control & customer support
  • Advertising on all available channels to attract even more singles

It is impossible to run such a company with just "air and love".

When should you pay?

Firstly, you should be sure that the dating site is right for you. Therefore, try out at least 2 - preferably 3 or 4 - dating sites for free!

And there are advantages to waiting a few days. Because you will receive attractive special offers by e-mail:

  • after 7 days: Buy 4 months for the price of 3!
  • after 14 days: 30% discount on the 6-month package!
  • after 21 days: ...

You probably know this from other sectors...

How many months do you want to pay for?

With the big good dating sites, you buy a communication flat rate for x months, which gives you the following rights:

  • Write mails
  • Read mails
  • View all photos

Depending on the provider, there are also various bonus features for premium members.

But for how many months should you book this flat rate?

We have the following specific tips for this:

  • If there is a trial month, which is quite expensive: Take it anyway and see what happens before you make a long-term commitment.
  • If you are seriously looking, we recommend 6 months or 12 months. This is significantly cheaper per month than shorter terms.
  • Anything over 12 months does not make sense in our view.

Why does my dating service keep charging me?

Every day we receive emails from members of dating sites who ask us exactly this question. Our answer is always the same:

Dating site memberships are subscriptions. Just like an insurance subscription or a newspaper subscription.

These subscriptions are automatically renewed. And for the booked term. This means that if you have purchased a 6-month subscription, your follow-up subscription will run for another 6 months. 

It is up to the customer to cancel the subscription. And if you do not cancel, the subscription and the direct debits will continue.

We recommend that you do this: If you book a membership with a singles exchange, then it's best to send the cancellation right afterwards! 

This way you don't have to worry later and can enjoy your partner search without any worries. 

Which payment method should you use?

All payment methods offered fulfil the usual security standards. It is important for you to know that after the booked months you can be sure that the subscription will not run on and on and that you will not pay unnecessary money...

Credit card: Credit cards are very popular. In doing so, you authorise the dating service to debit money. Remember to cancel your contract with the dating service in good time. Otherwise you will continue to be charged!

PayPal: You can also pay via PayPal with most dating sites. This is a good option for you, as you can cancel your subscription directly with PayPal if you no longer need it.

In-app purchases: Apple and Google are the money brokers between you and the dating service. Here too, you have good control over your subscription.

It is always your responsibility to cancel the subscription! If you forget to do so, the direct debits will continue. We therefore recommend that you send your cancellation directly at the time of purchase (by e-mail or in the member area) and stop your payments after 1, 3, 6 or 12 months.

Conclusion: Don't be afraid to pay

Millions of singles have paid money for good dating sites and met great people.

Nevertheless, you should not spend more than necessary!


Petra Frömsdorf
Petra Frömsdorf
Petra has been monitoring the Australian world of online dating sites since 2011. In the media it is considered the leading expert on the topic of "online dating".